He is an equal opportunity slut.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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