I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
