omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
