Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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