this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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