just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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