Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
