dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
