You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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