I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
