I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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