she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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