the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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