Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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