Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
