Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize