I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
as a side note pls kill me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
