it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
