No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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