thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
