im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
