Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
