all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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