just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
