at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
