Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
