he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
