God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize