He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
