Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
