I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize