i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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