The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize