I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
