My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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