who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
