I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No subtext here. People are naked.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
