somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
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