You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My vagina just clenched in fear
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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