you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize