I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
