new low.... made out with someone while peeing
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
