That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
