quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
