WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
