so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
