You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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