exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Randomize
