love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm both gender and math confused
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
