Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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