I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
