Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
