you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
