I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
