So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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