physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize