hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
