do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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