For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
