need another drink. this is the easiest way
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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