So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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