he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
