I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
