It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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