hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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