Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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