oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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